journal-09/12/01

09/12/01

Enough tv. Enough news, enough broadcasting, enough breaking stories, enough is enough. I’ve had it.

I’ve been watching tv almost nonstop over the past day and a half, and I swear this is the most I’ve ever watched tv in my entire life. There’s something that holds me there, and yet—the instant I turn the tv off, the news just disappears. It disappears because I am not in New York City, it disappears because I am not in DC, it disappears because I am not in remote PA. I am here, in Dallas Texas, far away from it all. I’ve been living a surreal existence over the past couple of days. This is not real, it can’t be. New York’s skyline is still intact. Thousands of people haven’t died, this is just a bad dream.

But it is real. This is what’s happening. The tragedy has indeed stricken, and here I am so absorbed in my own little world when suddenly—something so much bigger than me, than my life, than my problems, hits America and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to feel, I feel numb. I feel like I’m watching the live making of a movie. This stuff happens in movies, not in real life. This is bullshit.

But here it is.

How is this supposed to sink in? How are we supposed to deal with this? What’s next? Will this start a war? How will we get back on our feet? I don’t know. Nobody knows. We just have to wait and see, and life moves on.

Life goes on… thankfully.