08/18/01

i am a quote junkie.  every day i have these quotes emailed to me-- i don't even remember how or where i signed up anymore, i never read all the other garbage that comes within the email of quotes-- advertisements, etc (they have to pay for the free stuff somehow), i just skim to the quotes. 

sometimes they're great.  sometimes they're amusing but not worth keeping.  sometimes they suck.  the ones that stick with me somehow are the ones i keep, and many of them end up here.

essentially, i have to surround myself with things that inspire me.  otherwise, i am... well, uninspired. 

lately, i haven't been writing.  don't really know why, there's no good reason.  i can make excuses-- i moved, i haven't been spending much time at home, i'm on a weight-loss kick, and i've been collecting references, updating my resume, and searching for jobs. 

teaching jobs.  yes, it's about fucking time, i know.  i'm getting serious about it now.  but you know how long it takes me to do these things, to really get something done.  i'm much better than i used to be but i still need some work.  i think i'm doomed this way for my life.... it's a challenge to see how many things i can actually accomplish, do, finish in my short little lifetime.

anyway... i'm here now, i'm attempting.  this sucks though, i know.  it's just another boring, mundane update and nothing really with substance.

i need to go grocery shopping, need to go to the drug store, need to check in with the parents and see how they are... you know, the typical weekend type stuff that you so easily put off during the week, but then it becomes inevitable on the weekends...

but all i feel like doing is sitting here, babbling, and so-- that's what i'm going to do.  i'm having a small party next weekend so i need to write a grocery list for that, get some alcohol, etc.... but it can wait.

everything, i've found, can wait.  the only thing that can't wait is spending time with people you want to spend time with.  because if you don't-- when the opportunity presents itself, and you make an excuse as to why you can't see this person or those people, you miss out-- life is too fucking short to put people off.  this is something i'm realizing more and more the older i get.

the only thing that i refuse to compromise is my me time.  last night-- i was exhausted and the only thing i looked forward to all day was being able to come home, veg on the couch, and go to bed. 

i had 2 offers for something to do and i turned both down... considering that i'm tired and feeling a little drained, the only thing i wanted to do was lie in bed, watch a movie, and fall asleep.  so that's what i did.

and i didn't bother to get out of bed until around 3pm today.  but see, i can do that.  i'm allowed. 

and i really don't care what you think.

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