journal-03/03/01

03/03/01

don't you know i've tried so hard
to love you in my way?

you've gotta cry without weeping,
talk without speaking,
scream without raising your voice
run from the darkness in the night
(i am) running to stand still.

we'll see how brave you are,
we'll see how fast you'll be running...

oh well,
you just knew they'd come for you
so it was suicide--
oh well,
now you've got just what you want
i hope you're satisfied.

you get what you pay for, but
i just has no intention of living
this way
and i get no answers--

there's things i remember
and things i forget,
i miss you--
i guess that i should

3,500 miles away
(and what would you change
if you could?)

when you can't trust yourself, baby
trust someone else--

(i am not overly concerned
with the status of my emotions...
we're always changing

you try to tell yourself,
the things you try to tell yourself
to make your self forget)

and i know i have been
driven by the snow, but
this is cooling--
faster than i can

this is cooling
faster than i--

is your place in heaven
worth giving up these kisses?
these kisses...

and every time i try to pick you up--
like falling sand--
as fast as i pick it up
it runs away through my clutching hands

and there's nothing else i can really do,
there's nothing else i can really do
at all--

i am covered in skin.
no one gets to come in.

(pull me out from inside--
i am folded
and unfolded
and unfolding i am)

i am fine.

(songs, in order of appearance in this "found" poem (defined here as one poem created using phrases from other existing poems or song lyrics)... adia by sarah maclachlan, running to stand still by u2, yes, anastasia by tori amos, one of the three by james, raining in baltimore by counting crows, ride with me by the lemonheads, anna begins by counting crows, cooling by tori amos, letter to elise by the cure, and colorblind by counting crows.

a note about found poems. they don't always make perfect transitions from one phrase or verse to the next; however, in the overall context of the poem, all of the phrases work for the poem. the irregularity is characteristic of found poems.)