journal-05/08/00

05/08/00

Well, I'm on vacation.

In a way I sort of already feel like I've been on vacation for a while, just with having my dad in town and everything. We went to Salem on Friday. That was pretty neat..

We were going to go into Boston around the Freedom Trail and everything before he left Saturday, but I could tell that by then he was really tired and in a lot of pain, so when we got up Saturday morning, our conversation went something like this:

"So, what are we going to do today? Are we going into Boston?" (Dad)
"We could do that," I said, looking at him.. I paused then added,
"Or, we could just relax this morning, go eat a leisurely lunch and then I could take you to the airport."

My dad jumped on that-- "Yeah, why don't we do that."

See, ever since his back surgery last year (he had two vertebrae fused together), he has to take it easy. He's retiring in September after 31 years with Delta Airlines. He just needs a break-- he's been working very hard and physical work since he was young, and it's catching up with him now. He's had knee surgery several times, now he's had back surgery, and he thinks he'll likely have to have surgery on his other knee now, too. So he's in pain on a daily basis.

I understand... which is why I didn't push to go into the city, even though I really wanted him to see it. I know he would have enjoyed it.

So anyway. I have to say my favorite part was when we went to Fall River, to Battleship Cove. I didn't realize what a charming little city Fall River is!

Anyway, at this museum they have a battleship, the USS Massachusetts, and a destroyer, and a submarine, as well as a small plane used in WWII and a copter. We went on the battleship, the destroyer, and the submarine. The battleship was most impressive. It was big and had so many levels.

The destroyer was neat because it's the only one of its type accessible to the public.

And the submarine... well... if you've never seen a real submarine, or if you've never been inside of one-- don't believe what you see in the movies, because... space is definitely a commodity. Everything was so incredibly cramped, from the toilet to the bed to the radio man's desk to the bridge... it was just a long and skinny vessel with very little room to move around. And those little bitty doors that go from one hatch to another-- squeezing through those little things when you're in a hurry... imagine! Haha... so yeah, I have a whole different viewpoint now that I've seen a real sub, and let me tell you, the subs in the movies have at least 3-4 times the space of a real sub. (Logistically speaking it has to work that way, just to get all the stinkin' cameras and other equipment in there, I know, but still...)

I guess the reason why going to Battleship Cove was my favorite time with my dad is because that's when I just got to listen to him tell stories. Stories about his time in the Navy, his time in Vietnam. He confessed something to me that I thought was interesting, and it spawned a lot of questions in my mind, which I probably should have asked him at the time because I don't know that we'll have another opportunity like that, but...

Maybe sometime when we go fishing together, I'll ask.

Anyway, his confession--
He told me that he would have liked to have stayed in Navy after his stint in Vietnam was over. The reason why he didn't is because he was married and had a young daughter (my sister, and I think he felt guilty about missing the first 10 months of her life). If it hadn't been for that, he would've stayed in.

I asked him what he liked about the Navy. He told me he liked the discipline, the brother-like comaradery with his shipmates, as well as the good times they had together.

Right then I wanted to ask him if he had any unrealized dreams. I could almost feel the words rolling off my tongue, but they wouldn't come. Maybe a part of me didn't want to know the answer...

I have to say it was nice having someone in my apartment besides me and my kitty. I felt this vast emptiness after I left the airport and ended up back here at home... it was too quiet, too empty.

And saying goodbye to my dad was tough too... I didn't give it a thought until he decided he was going to go ahead and get on the airplane (the flight was virtually empty). Then suddenly I could feel tears well up inside of me, begging to be exposed to the sweet air around me... but I pushed them back down. I hugged Daddy tight, told him I loved him and was glad he came, and then he got on the airplane and was gone.

And that was that.

I should do this more often... you know... seeing my family.

So this week I'm concentrating on getting a new job. I've been looking up until this point but I haven't been all-out aggressive about it. That's changing now, the unhappier I get in my current job.

Hopefully something will surface soon...

Wish me luck.