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04/21/00
A friend of mine posed this question to several of us: What did you envision yourself doing at the age you are now?
What I once envisioned myself doing when I was on the verge of
turning 25?
When I was in high school, I thought by the time I was 25 I would
be married and maybe having a baby on the way to this world, I
thought I'd be living in Texas, close to my family. I thought I
would have graduated from a Texas college and met a Texas man to
raise a Texas family. I thought I would have been teaching high
school English for about 4 years.
My reality: I'm single but surprisingly very comfortable with
that, I'm living just outside Boston Ma and loving it (although I
treasure the occasional connections with Texans and other
Southerners here-- you'd be surprised at the frequency), I'm
teaching severe special needs children and I'm finally going to
take the Mass teacher's test in June.
No, life is nowhere near where I expected it to be. I think if I
had never left Texas to go to college I would have lived out my
previous expectation. Now my life has so many open endings, so
many possibilities, endless choices and decisions, many
untraversed paths to pave. It's exciting, scary, sometimes I get
very homesick, sometimes I'd like my life to be easier but most
of the time I think I'd get terribly bored of living if it were
easy. The challenge is sometimes what keeps me going, and
sometimes the challenge of finding happiness is the hardest
because I forget that the way to discover happiness is to look
inside myself and gather the strength and beauty that's there,
waiting for me to (once again) realize it...
(By the way, I just want to throw in that Return To Me is a great movie, and you should go see it if you enjoy laughter and family and sappiness and romance. It's predictable, yes, but enjoyable all the same. You might shed some tears, too... but only if you're as sappy as I am.)