journal-03/10/00

03/10/00

Without a doubt, men are the most ridiculous creatures on the face of this earth.

It's cloudy and kind of chilly outside. A gloomy Friday...

Sometimes I really wonder why I bother to have hope. Periodically this issue raps almost silently at my door (although it's muted, it's quite persistent). Today (unexpectedly) would be one of those times.

I wish the sky would just open up and rain-- let it all out. Enough of this cloudy murky bullshit.

I try to write but I feel like... when you're trying to drive with the emergency brake on, and you can still go but it's more of a stop-start effort and you have to push too hard and you can't quite figure out why...

I would stare across the room but I'm too restless for that.

I would go back to bed except that I don't have one.

I would eat breakfast or lunch, except that I don't feel like eating.

I'm in a do-nothing-do-something kind of mood...

Know what I mean?