journal-10/09/99

10/09/99

My friend Ted (who's old enough to be my father) once told me that no matter what job I have, I should always be on the look-out for something better.

That piece of advice stays in the back of my mind and surfaces periodically, usually when I'm looking through the Want Ads or when I'm thinking about how the hell I'm going to pay my school loans starting in December.

I met with an executive briefly on Friday to discuss an increase in my contracted salary. He said (in a nutshell) that since I'm not doing the masters program he probably can't do anything.

I figured as much. It seems that no matter what happens I always get screwed over when it comes to money.

I don't particularly want to leave the school I'm working at right now, but I may have to just because they're not paying me enough money for my hard work there.

So here I sit, looking through the Want Ads, trying to find something I could do part time to supplement my current meager income.

And then, I look at the bottom of one of the columns and see the header, "Teach in Poland." Last year when I was living in Philly and even while I was in college, I considered an overseas teaching program.

I'm already hundreds to thousands of miles away from my family and most of my friends, so what's another few thousand tacked on to that?

It would be a great opportunity.

It would be fun.

It would be exciting.

I'd have to sell my car.

Leave Russ behind (right now that doesn't even seem like an issue, considering that we're both so fucking busy that we rarely see each other anyway...).

I weighed the options and decided against applying last year. I can't remember why. Maybe because I was looking at it as just another escape from Philly. An escape from bills. An escape from a life I wasn't terribly happy living.

I'm frustrated because I wish teaching paid more so I wouldn't worry about paying back my loans or my credit card bills. I'm frustrated because I don't want to be forced to get a higher paying (and probably less enjoyable) job just becasue I can't pay my bills between the two jobs I already have. What am I supposed to do?