journal-08/19/99

08/19/99

Bliss.

That's something along the lines of what I'm feeling at the moment. For the past few days, at least... for the past couple of weeks, even...

I don't even know where to begin. Or if I can begin to describe the feeling. But I'm going to try.

The instant you turn to me and say
something whimsical that makes me laugh
(and you're good at that, too)--
that's the time I realize I can't be without you
right now
this moment--
and I hold your face in my head,
wondering if maybe that will suffice until Saturday
when I will get to hold your face again...

Was it just today, or
maybe years ago we met
and spent so many hours delving into each other
and still, it's not enough
but it's plenty to know it's more than just want,
it's need that's driving my daily force now.

I do my best not to fast-forward,
speculate--
I try not to place labels or expectations--
and any time my mind wanders to such social structures
it immediately segues to you,
and everything uncertain means nothing.

We speak of now and us and we,
we feel bad for others who miss out on such
simple pleasures as
interlocking bodies like ours,
like adjacent pieces of the puzzle--
a giant landscape of the world with wandering people
searching for their place, their spot,
where they fit in,
and here are we--
meshed together and laughing.